A Life of Surrender

One of my friends who has been on
the mission field for almost 10 years said that the first year is about
learning who you are. Then the second year is about learning where you fit into the ministry God has called you
to. I have found these statements to be so true.

A little over a year ago I arrived
in Swaziland. I came with a heart to serve and a willingness, or so I thought,
to do what God had called me to. I had no idea what God had in store for me
over the next few months.

My experience reminds me of a time
when a small group of mine went spelunking (cave diving). I had signed up to go
repelling, but the weather changed our plans and we ended up crawling around a
cave for hours. I remember standing in the cave soaking wet and covered in mud
thinking “if you had told me this is what we were
going to do I never would have come,” but I loved it and would have gone
back to do it again in a heartbeat.

This season in Ministry has been
like that for me. I had this idea of what my life would look like and how I
would fit into the ministry happening in Swaziland. For a while what I was
doing fit my box, my expectations. However, it was not long before that bubble
was burst. My first season in ministry was filled with many trials, some of
them self-inflicted. The Lord was refining my character, revealing to me that
in some areas of my life I was not the person that I believed myself to be.

Most people have heard the verse from Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares
the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a
hope and a future.” Rarely do we look up at verse 10 that states: This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are
completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to
bring you back to this place.” Yikes! God laid out his timeline and
his promise. But how often do we pay attention to the whole statement.

God is still working on my heart, teaching me more each day
about HIS heart and HIS love for me through this season of trials. The worship
lyrics that are speaking to me the most right now are: He
is JEALOUS for ME! …  Oh, How He Loves
Us, Oh, How He Loves Us, How He Loves Us All

I’m learning to trust in Him as I am in a place where I am
being “Broken and Refined.”