I wrote this blog about a month ago, but haven’t had a chance to post it, I hope you enjoy!
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we
should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world
does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children
of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when
he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who
has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.
~ 1 John 3: 1-3
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his
whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his
glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your
inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray
that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with
all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of
Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled
to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we
ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be
glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever
and ever! Amen
~ Ephesians 3: 14-21
These were the verses that I was
reading as I was seeking the Lord during our Wednesday morning prayer meeting,
I was praying them over a small group I am leading this semester, over my life
and over my heart for going to Africa. As I finished reading these verses I
looked up and saw my roommate, Nicole, coming my way crying… I was sure there
was something wrong, something big that the Lord had shown her, something that
may not have been in her plan… However I was the one who was wrong. As she got
closer to me, she showed me what was in her hand, it was a check and that said
it all!
I got up hugged her and cried with
her, knowing without seeing the check that God had moved. You see, Nicole is
going to Youth With A Mission’s (YWAMs) Discipleship Training School (DTS). She
leaves in exactly one week, and as of yesterday she didn’t have the money to
pay for the school, but she was going. She has turned in her two weeks notice,
started packing her bags, (maybe just in her head) made arrangements for all of
her belongings, and travel arrangements made. Nicole was going, with or without
the money that she needed. If the money didn’t come Nicole was going anyway,
believing that her God would provide. She was going to arrive at DTS with a
fraction of the tuition and stay until they kicked her out, or the funds she
needed arrived.
I admired her faith and wondered if
my faith was that strong as I watched her walk through the struggle of really
walking it out. Not knowing the outcome, but believing in her call and her God.
I watched as she struggled through this process, which started for her in
August when she felt the call to go to WYAM, as she prayed about it and
surrendered to it. I watched as she struggled with people not believing in her,
as people close to her tore her dreams to pieces, which could have shattered
her and sometimes almost did. I also watched as others stood with her, building
her up, showing her that her dreams were real and that we too believed in a God
who provides for our needs. This journey for her has not been easy, but she has
remained faithful with the little she had. The Lord used a friend last week to
bless her with more than she expected, which I saw as a way for this friend to
be used by God to say “I believe in you” something Nicole needed to hear,
something we all need to hear from time to time. Then this morning another
check came and as we added up what she had for support, we just cried… He had
provided for her, in that moment the Lord whispered, “I love you, I will
provide for you, I love you!” For a moment in our minds, it didn’t add up, the
last check she received was for a very specific amount. As we both returned to
prayer praising God for what he had done, he revealed something to me. He is
our provider, our Jehovah-Jireh. He had provided more than what she needed for
this part of the journey, but as He spoke to my heart, He said… “I provided for
her needs, more than she could ask or imagine… I know what she needed,
exactly.” He revealed to me that it wasn’t just the school He was providing
for, it was for ALL of her needs. What she had received would cover not only
her school cost, but also the gas and food she will need to buy on her trip to
get there… We serve an Amazing God!
So now what? What does faith look
like for me? Do I continue to seek Him on my knees to provide for my needs or
is it time for me to get up and start walking forward in what He has called me
to. The process started back in December as we realized that Nicole was leaving
and that would leave Teka and I alone in the apartment again. We can’t exactly
look for a new roommate not knowing how long we can commit to stay and it is
too expensive to live there with just two of us. So we are saying good-bye to
our cozy little home, a place that we have lived for seven and a half years,
yes, the same roommate, in the same apartment for almost eight years.
I spent our time of 21 Days of
Prayer and Fasting in January asking God to provide for my needs as I prepare
to go to Africa and I know He is faithful. As I tell people that we are giving
up the apartment the question I continue to get is, “What are you going to do?”
And my heart screams… “I’M MOVING TO AFRICA” but I calmly answer that I would
like to be going to Africa, but if that doesn’t happen then, something will
work out.
“Now faith is being sure of what we
hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancient’s were
commended for. ~ Hebrews 11:1-2
I have continued to walk through
this process of moving to Africa, sure of what I hope for, certain of my call
to missions, to the people of Swaziland and now I am being called to be certain
of what I do not see. The bank account is flashing “insufficient funds” (something
truthfully I have never seen in my life) but that is looking at the “big picture’
of two years of ministry, however that is using my eyes, not His. If I were to
leave now and the Lord supplies only what has already been committed in faith,
then I can go and serve for around 9 to 12 months. I have committed to 2 years
and I am going to continue to believe that He is my Jahovah- Jireh. He will
provide for my needs, not just down to the last penny, though I will praise Him
for that, but exceedingly and abundantly more than all I could ask or imagine.
I am waiting to hear what AIM has to say about all of this, to see if they are
willing to let me go and serve as long as I have the support, however long that
may be, and believe with me that My God, Our God will provide all of my needs.
